Wedding Toasts
Many people are worried about wedding speeches and toasts. Today's weddings are more relaxed and informal affairs. Do not worry about etiquette or, as I prefer to call it, tradition.
One opening piece of advice for speech making - Short is Sweet!
Whilst speakers can make as many toasts as they wish I show below minimum requirements:
Traditional running order of wedding speeches & toasts
- Father of the Bride - To toast the bride & bridegroom
- Bridegroom - To thank the Father of Bride for his kind words and finish with a toast to the Bridesmaids
- Best Man (or Best men) - To thank the bridegroom, on behalf of the bridesmaids, for his kind words.
Basic content of speeches:
Father of the Bride
- To offer his congratulations to the Bride and Bridegroom
- To relate some stories about his daughter covering the period from cradle to wedding
- To welcome the Bridegroom to their family.
- To thanks the parents of the Bridegroom for any help they may have given (If any!)
- To close his speech with a toast to the Bride and Bridegroom.
Other notes
In the Father of the Bride and the Bridegroom's speeches a number of thanks are usually given. For example, thanks to the guests for coming and especially those who have traveled long distances. The Father of the Bride needs to cross check with the Bridegroom to avoid duplication of thanks in their respective speeches.
Bridegroom
- To thank the Bride's father for his kind words
- To thank both sets of parents for their contribution (financial or other input) and to thank his parents for their love and care
- To say lots good things about his new wife - especially how much he loves her.
- To say some complimentary things about the bridesmaids and propose a toast to them.
Note - The giving of presents
Whilst many Bridegrooms do hand out presents to the members of the wedding party during his speech I would advise that these are given out before the wedding. The reasons are as follows:
- Giving out gifts interrupts the Bridegroom's speech
- It is boring for all the guests
- They take up too much time
However the one exception that I strongly recommend is to give out Bouquets to the Mums during the speech.
Best Man/Best Men
The best man is responding on behalf of the toast to the bridesmaids by the Bridegroom.
His speech content should be about the Bridegroom. However ALWAYS avoid stories about drunken escapades on nights out or the stag do. Everyone except those who were involved find such stories boring and unflattering.
He should ask for information from the Bridegroom's parents about what he was like as an infant, his junior school, senior school, and university education. (The type of material that a Bridegroom's father may use if he were to make such a speech (which he doesn't). Then add in his own recollections - He can certainly make fun of the Bridegroom's strengths and weaknesses!
Some additional toasts that could be included in the father of the bride's and Bridegroom's speeches:
- To Absent Friends
- To the Guests
- To the Mums
- To the Dads
Finally
When proposing a toast please do not say "be upstanding" - The word Upstanding defines a person's character (i.e. a reputable member of society!).
DO, when proposing a toast, ask everyone to "STAND".
For further help and advice please contact Howard...